Perhaps you work, study or otherwise spend time on relatively menial tasks every day. While there may or may not be some bigger picture, giving meaning to the countless seconds spent laboring, there is one thing likely driving you to go on. Those romantic books you read. The longing for time spent together, told of as making the hours of senselessly giving of self to some endeavor worthwhile. What if that deep romance could be a reality for you as well? There may be a soulmate or twin-flame waiting out there for you as well.
Base-theory
First an assumption; that each life inherently ties to other lives - be it shared practices, language, approaches to finding fulfillment, professional fields or the likes. Some chemicals react in a manner undesirable (to whom?), and similarly there can be relations that may be of mutual disinterest, while others may simply be inconvenient to some degree, to certain interest-factors.
One might state that instead of viewing potential partners in the light of those evaluated as "most desirable", each life is with a unique percentage-wise compatibility with other lives. This too is something impacted by another factor; the level of familiarity between two beings, within the all-family context. Ancient wisdom would seem indicate that if two people within the same enclosed space enter a partnership and then divorce, complications can result, which pre-emptive measures usually are put in place against, to avoid weakening and decline of a social environment.
Responsibility
Those who can read this, likely dwell within the segment of the world-population that administrate greater capital resources than the vast majority. The choices, decisions, approach to life and the likes by any such, simply extends to influence a greater number of lives, impacting the health, livelihood and safety of many. The choice of partnering as such is vital, and the freedom to choose wisely would seem a worthwhile investment. More than just how the individuals life is shaped by partnering choices, things like thinking on how to approach romance and the likes are relevant factors.
Now, with the basic logic and a simple safety-measure in place, the inquiry below, will assist you to develop clarity on personal partnering interests, as well as begin manifesting a deep romantic relationship.
What do you need?
You are an essential component in the relationship, and to continue on will need certain things - some of these unique to you, some of these quite common.
- What do you need to exist, live and thrive? What is important for the relationship to align with securing?
- Relations?
- Capacity to perform (i.e. access to monetary resources etc.)
- Abstinence requirements? (allergies?)
- Which habits do you need to continue?
- In maintaining independence (avoiding controlling/similar behaviors)?
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Damages that are intolerable to you, such as to health? everything comes with a risk
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What do you need provide, or what might trigger rejection were provision to cease? To whom? Reliability-requirements
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What is required for these things to continue?
As you go through the next layers of the inquiry, an optional counter-balancing component to the safety-measures may be added. You may note that certain things hamper you in the capacity for romantic relations; this can include objects, other living beings and approaches to living such as ideologies amongst other subscriptions - some of these may be exploitative of the life of you. It may be well worthwhile to note how you can responsibly part with what no longer serves you; i.e. don't go killing the cat 'cause its in the way, if you adopted or produced it, its a responsibility to care for it - other scenarios could involve employees relying on a position you took up in a company. The classic saying "less is more" proves true with the following.
Similarity
Similarities can be shared, the simply make being together easier, and sustains what you need.
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Are there some similarities that are absolutely required?
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How about similarities that may be beneficial?
Chemical reactions
In chemistry, there is a practice of combining chemicals. Of course it is vital to note that the benefit therein, depends a bit on whom you ask. However say you and the potential partner are like two chemicals;
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What differences may compliment, and shape an outcome that is mutually beneficial between you?
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Are there some differences that may be undesirable?
Romantic needs
By now, the number of potential partners would likely be within a drastically reduced scope. The total population, half of which may be of the gender-of-interest, and 10-20% may be within a compatible age-range. That number is furthermore decreased, as only some percentage of these are outside a range of familiarity within which complications of partnering increases drastically (note that personal complications, without being superficial, may be lowering the broader compatibility here - even as these may be invested increases in overall compatibility). Within that range, there are some without the similarities and differences that may be too undesirable, and amidst those some with the required traits.
Amongst these, there are likely to be patterns in the potential partnerships. Common requirements does likely exist across the potential partnerships, however the needs to may vary depending on the relationship.
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What are these requirements?
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Are there any of these that coincide with what you need anyway?
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Are some easier than others to fulfill, for you?
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Does any of these requirements become possible with change, learning or the likes - and if so, what will that take?
Investor-relations
You may note that some of these relations are too complicated to sustain, at least without changes or in the immediate future. However, some of these may be worthwhile to a point, that even of a bit of patience won't save you, it may bring you to better partnering opportunities - which certainly can assist to avoid loss of partnering capacity. The worth is not necessarily solely to you and the partner, as there are various beneficiaries of any relation - direct and indirect. The inquiry here is; what demand will be channeled through such a partnership?
- What are types of yield, such the growth of capacity to partner without reproducing? You may not agree with this statement, but its a safety-measure I'm sure you would agree with, if you knew...
For inspiration, a variety of kinds of gain may include co-processing, supporting performance-states, fact-checking and information-distribution, house-holdering, lowered strain or resource consumption by shared expenses, sustaining continuation such as of teachings, wisdom or growth of ethical surplus - even desirable connection shaping. Of the less commonly considered ones could be flow of qi/prana/energy, patterns shaped or reinforced, etc.
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Utilizing the awareness of kinds of gain, what stockholder-relations may exist?
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Are there changes a relationship is bound to bring about, that will be desirable?
Costs
Next is a vital, but part of the inquiry that you may dislike. Failing this part may lead to undesirable outcomes. If you feel the range of potential partners to be very wide, you may look into the commonalities in gain across these. Another important aspect is to look at the impact on you, romantic partners and the relationship that is the product of the costs involved. After-all some of the relationships may require more costs than others, and securing the capacity to fulfill these needs, may be blocking you in making choices that eliminate costs that does not need to be. Costs, in this context, is not as much about money, as it is about the harm to other beings - living or even the imprints of those deceased.
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What are these costs?
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Threats may arise, even as some of these may be well justified - how will you go about risk-management?
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Who may be unhappy, hereunder with the changes it may bring?
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Are there any relational patterns, that would seem a decent investments - i.e. overall yielding an outcome of less harm for those violated for the relation to exist?
Basic pre-emptives
Please note that lives too may suffer at a self-violative approach to living; increased sensitivities, loss of trust, emotionality around wrongs, conflicts arising out of others indulging in ways causing you to personally lose capacity for wiser partnering etc. - nothing can replace a wholesome romantic partner. I.e. failure to self-care in this manner may cause harm as well. However this process unveils that going outside this limited partner-range - which is entirely unique, individual - may lead to unsustainable relations, damages to self or the other, excessive "costs" or otherwise undesirable shaping of the fate of various. Overriding this, regardless of how that might occur (be it by lust, cravings for natal, desires for other things such as wealth, misuse of romance for political etc.) may as such lead to quite a lot of harm. Regardless there will be struggles, also within a relationship.
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How will you go about these struggles?
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By what means, can you avoid exploitative dynamics pre-emptively? This could include the nasty advantage-making that go under guise of external/employed mediation, and misuse collective unawareness
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Are there any purification-methods you intend to employ to "ease the spirits"?
Maximizing the gain of the time invested in the inquiry
Making the most of what is already there, can with near-certainty accelerate the gain, with just a tiny bit of effort.
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Are there means available to you, by which these complications can be lowered, making it easier to enjoy romantic partnering?
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What are the worthwhile investments you noted along the way? Especially any you may be able to endeavor on these next few hours
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Instead of making it a big complicated thing; what does the awareness you developed, require of you in this moment?
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Anything you need deal with in a peaceful way, avoiding suppressed anger surfacing in undesirable ways?